What Sex Dolls Mean for Men?

Recently, a research organization published a report on the psychology of doll users (hereinafter referred to as “doll players”). It statistically analyzes the psychology of various types of people who buy sex dolls as companions for different purposes, but in fact most of them are not malicious.

The poster of 《Lars and the Real Girl》

Regarding the buyers of love dolls, the mainstream description is usually of an alternative crowd, even slightly sleazy, mostly losers in life. And like the famous 2007 movie starring Gosling, 《Lars and the Real Girl》 rarely gives a nuanced account of the players of erotic dolls.

Many people feel that people who use love dolls may be potentially violent because of the ability to do whatever they want with them, which could lead to an increase in their real-life violent behavior. But this is not the case, according to studies, the love doll using population includes a variety of different demographics with different purposes, not all of them are because of gender lust, and the vast majority of the motives are not malignant, as the movie 《Lars and the Real Girl》tells us.

A report published in February 2022 by the University of Trent in the United Kingdom was the first to support this idea. In this report, researchers compared the psychological characteristics of doll players with those of other men.

The survey concluded that doll players were not significantly different from others on most psychological traits. Even though doll players have a lower tendency to exhibit sexual violence, as well as a lower level of sexual self-esteem, and are more likely to view women as incomprehensible, they want more sexual control, are more likely to have obsessive-compulsive personalities, and perceive the real world as full of “risks”.

What do these “perceptions of women” mean?

Social isolation, unrealistic expectations of intimacy between the sexes, biased understanding of gender and stereotypes are among the many factors that can lead to objectification and a misplaced sense of ownership of sex, according to Lawless, a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist at （Eros Coaching） in Singapore.

“These can be caused by the lack of normal social relationships, along with the flooding of online media with these kinds of thoughts and feelings,” Lawless said.

Men who hold these beliefs may want complete control over a woman, and buying a love doll is one way to be able to create that experience, she added. But the findings are correlational and don’t necessarily imply causation.

“It just means that it’s impossible to say for sure: did the belief come first, or did the erotic doll come first,” Are men in this category more likely to be attracted to erotic dolls, or did the use of erotic dolls create this belief? We need more data to answer these kinds of questions.

Sexual violence tendencies

“Many people believe that the use of love dolls may increase the rate of sexual violence crimes. However, the data reported in the study is inconsistent with this claim.”

It may be that people with less violent tendencies are more likely to use love dolls.

On the other hand, love dolls may provide a safe, controlled outlet for sexual desires, frustrations, and aggression that might otherwise be directed at real people.

This may help dispel the misconception that many people have that doll players are dangerous, Lawless said.

Blonde Sex Doll Dany

Obsessive-compulsive personality trait

The association between love doll ownership and more pronounced obsessive-compulsive personality traits is speculative and requires further investigation, said researcher Lee, but there are several possible explanations.

People with obsessive-compulsive personality traits may be attracted to the meticulous care and maintenance required by dolls, because for people with these personality traits, intimate behavior between the sexes should be ritualistic, not routine. According to Lawless and Lee. They may appreciate the ability to customize dolls to fulfill specific fantasies and erotic desires, and may find it a very comfortable way to do so given the complete control and predictability of erotic dolls.

The poster of 《Lars and the Real Girl》

Lower self-esteem in sexuality

“People with lower sexual self-esteem are more likely to be attracted to erotic dolls because the dolls offer a degree of psychological safety. Dolls don’t reject or criticize you,” says sexologist Lehmiller.

Some people use sex dolls as a tool to explore gender eroticism and fulfill specific fantasies. Lack of interpersonal experience or success may trigger low self-esteem. Owning a sex doll can be a mechanism for coping with social anxiety, past trauma, or difficulty in establishing intimate relationships.

However, owning and using erotic dolls can be another contributing factor to low self-esteem.

“Many doll players create communities online where they develop a sense of identity, which helps combat loneliness and social isolation.”

While owning a love doll can fulfill certain emotional and psychological needs, it may also have implications such as inhibiting real-life social skills, and being intimate with only one doll partner may inhibit communication skills, including empathy and the ability to compromise, which are crucial to human social relationships.

“While erotic dolls can provide physical fulfillment, they cannot replace emotional connection and social interaction,” Lee said.

But experts also say the findings shouldn’t be used to generalize or label all doll players because everyone’s experience is unique and they come from all walks of life.

Lee said, “It’s important to recognize that gendered erotic dolls can meet a variety of needs for different individuals. Some people may use dolls to explore their erotic behavior, to fulfill specific fantasies, or as a tool for alternative erotic experimentation. There are also players who develop friendships and emotional connections with dolls. It’s more important to respect individual choices and view the topic without judgment, as long as they are legitimate.” Lee said that if doll players have any specific questions or concerns, they can try talking to a professional psychotherapist or sexologist for counseling.

The number of users who buy sex dolls is now growing rapidly, and today’s sex dolls are not only anatomically accurate, with a similar appearance and almost the same touch as the real thing, some can even talk and make some simple movements, but they are also easier and quicker to buy, and personal privacy can be protected.

While owning a love doll still carries a socio-cultural stigma, the number of people interested in love dolls has increased over the past few years, and the surge in sales of dolls during the COVID-19 New Crown epidemic is a reflection of this. According to Frankie Cuccini, single men continue to be the mainstay of purchasers, but since the early 2020s, more and more couples have also purchased erotic dolls.

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